Wednesdays!

I have a dear gay friend, whom I'll call Lothario, because he is ever so sexy and funny and just Great. Loth calls me up on a Wednesday and asks if I can get a babysitter, which I can - but I was quite doubtful as to what the hell we were going to DO on a Wednesday, and voiced my doubts. "Honey, TRUST me." he says, and at seven PM we set off for the teeniest hole-in-the-wall bar known to the universe. It's so country that old black men sit outside the bar on a veranda with cafeteria tables, smoking Blunts out in the open which they share with all and sundry who show up. I'm pretty sure the bathroom had typhoid. there were no doors on the stalls: just shower curtains to pull across. We show up to this place, affectionately called the pump because it's close to the water tower or something, and meet up with a carful of Loth's friends. There was a couple in the front seat; Tess and Cody, and a couple of guys who were really cute and already half drunk by the looks of it - Dustin and Jeff. We piled in her car - Jeff had to crawl in the way back of the SUV - and smoked up, then went and picked up beer and went to Tess's house. As soon as Tess was out of hearing range, the tipsy Cody leaned close to me and started telling me how gorgeous I was and how he'd love to fuck me. I was bewildered by his blatantness - he leaned in, but didn't lower his voice, so Loth and the other guys heard it loud and clear. When Tess came back out to where we were sitting on her backporch, Cody got quiet - it happened again, and THEN I caught on. (Ok, so i am not so quick on the uptake when I'm struck dumb by compliments,) Tess and Cody were together - which was bizarre, since Cody was Gorgeous. I mean, lickable. and Tess - not so much, let's say. Very oddly matched to me. But when I did catch on, I was disgusted enough to ask Loth if we could take off. He agreed that with the level of alcohol going down, the situation could only go south, so he and Jeff and Dustin piled in my car and we cruised to Another hole-in-the-wall place around the corner, a bar with pool tables and a jukebox from the seventies. Events seemed slow there. Jeff, I could tell, kept looking at me surreptitiously, Dustin started trying to mack on some really really drunk girl, and Loth was at the bar with another of his friends, Jen. Jeff eventually asked if i was feeling good, which I was, then just said, "I feel good too. Let's go makeout in your car."
And just like that, slap bang boom, we pulled around to a dark corner in the parking lot and fucked. I've never fucked in my car before. it was quick and dirty, but hey, i figured, at least i got laid. Unfortunately, not only was my crotch soaked from his foreplay - which amazed him - but in the wrestling about a beer got spilled on my leg. My pants were done. I swung back to the bar and asked Jeff to tell Loth to come out to the car. When Loth got to my window, he leaned in and said, "What have YOU been doing miss?" "I have to change my pants."
"Shut up. You are not leaving me."
" I have to! I promise, I'll be back. my house is like ten minutes away. I wouldn't abandon you!"
"Whatever bitch. you have thirty minutes."
"Okay! Okay!" and off I flew to find new pants.
I arrived back at the bar and Loth actually gave me knuckles for living up to my word. I sat down next to Jeff; by this time Dustin's girl had had to go home from over drunkenness, so he was on my other side. Now I have no way of knowing what was said about me while I was gone, but all of a sudden Dustin leans over, puts his arm around me and starts tipsily crooning along to the cheesy country music. Jeff just leans close with his drunk grin and whispers to me "You're so fuckin hot, girl" Loth is sitting across from me, drinking Miller after Miller and winking at me while both of these guys fawned all over me, much to my blushing bewilderment. it was as though they didn't give a damn about the fact they were going to have to share me. Loth kept leaning in and saying "We'll split the difference." Which I didn't get at ALL, . . . .
Skip ahead to Dustin's crib. we're lounging on the bed, they're rolling some smoke again, and everyone's bullshitting for over an hour. by this time it's like four in the morning. I keep looking at Loth with my eyebrow raised,, wondering just WHAT he expected me to do. Finally he leans over and asks me, "Do I have a pretty mouth?"
Loth is gay. as in, flaming-ly and ostentatiously gay. I of course assumed nothing was ever going to go on with HIM.
So I answer, with a confused look, "Yes, of course . . ."
"Come here," he motions, and I lean in, expecting him to whisper something to me . . .
And he gives me the hottest fucking kiss I think i've ever gotten, mainly so hot because he's a sexy motherfucker and I was SO totally taken by surprise. I arch my back and grab fistfuls of the sheet and come before it was half finished. He pulls back when I moan out my pleasure and looks me up and down, confused himself and says, "Well what the fuck."
I blush and look down and say, "Oh, Okay, I should warn you ALL - I'm a multiorgasmic squirter."
"Yeah, she gets wet as hell" Jeff interjects from his corner.
"SHUT the FRONT DOOR." Loth says - that's his substitute for "shut the fuck up".
"No fucking way. Are you kidding me? Andy!" (that's his name for me)
. . .
"well now I'm not sure I want these two to be involved anymore" he says, boldfacedly in front of them. I blush and again avert my gaze - What a compliment! a gay guy turning away two guys for me!
"Wait a second!" Dustin interrupts, "we're all just chilling, c'mon now, nobody has to go anywhere, relax . . ."
Loth keeps looking at me and shaking his head and making comments like "I can't believe it. All this time, innocent miss thing is a . . ." and "That is so fucking hot, girl."
Oh yeah, my ego was stroked to the max. which is probably what compelled me to cut through the bullshit and basically strip in front of them when they didn't make any further moves. I said "Fuck it." and took off my shirt and bra and got back on the bed. Within seconds, the rest of my clothes were off and Jeff and Dustin were scooted up on either side of me. someone kissed my neck and someone sucked on my nipple, and my hips bucked and I soaked the bed.
Both of them looked down, looked up at me in wonder, and exclaimed some version of "Fuck yeah!" or "Holy Shit!"
And then it was on. I can only imagine Loth was watching for a moment - of course I'm so fucking turned on by so much male attention and whispered compliments I'm just coming and coming - and then Loth says "Ok bitches, move aside . . ."
And he proceeded to put his head between my legs.
Who would have thought, of all the things he COULD have done with a girl, that'd be the one he chose to do??
I think I blacked out. it was definitely too much sensory information for my poor little self to handle. there were no penises out; I am pretty sure they were all fully clothed and I was just buck naked, their willing toy. Several times after I came, Loth looks up and says, "Goddamn girl! You have a wet Vagine, miss!" He backs off the bed and dramatically wipes his face and I blush all over and try to hide my face under a pillow, and he says "Oh no, miss, unh-uh, that is so fucking hot . . . i just never would have believed it out of little ole you!"
After some more playtime with just the two others, I ask for some dick please. they are so wrapped up in watching me come over and over that they ignore me until i basically plead for it - I mean, sorry, but if there's hard dick in the room i want some. At least a little!
So Dustin does the honors, the whole time stating, "Jesus, girl, you are unfucking believeable."
However, he was too drunk to come . . . . so at some point I leaned close and asked him to stop, because I was utterly exhausted . . . and reluctantly he stopped, agreeing that it wasn't going to happen for him, after asking me several times if i was satisfied, to which I laughed loudly and said, definitely loud enough for the room to hear, "Satisfied?!?! You need a new BED, I am begging you to stop because I'm exhausted, and you ask ME if I'm satisfied?!?!?!?" and I erupted in laughter.
Finally Lothario and I got back to my house and curl up on my bed, talking like girlfriends, him still going on about how he was startled to learn such things about me. By this time it's fifteen minutes until i have to get my kids up for school. Loth passes out - on his stomach, which I found ironically hilarious since he's gay - I manage to rouse the kids and get the babysitter back home so I can pass out myself for a few brief hours.
Loth and I went to see 'Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist' the next afternoon and revelled in our wild Wednesday. Who knew that in my own podunk town, on a Wednesday night, that such trouble and depraved wantonness could be found?
I'm beginning to be so proud of my whore skills. And Loth is THE MAN for getting me laid three times over. What a guy. I'd love it if he were my new best friend. ~A

Women, how I love you.

Again, my chronology is getting skewed. Let me start by saying there was a grand incident where Dick once again came, fucked me like all Hell while i was rollin on ecstasy, and then went back to his girl. This pissed me off in some ways. (let me interject and say that I LOVE X - I love it so much I only allow myself to do it every so often, always while my kids are elsewhere - again, I may be a slut but that doesn't affect my mothering abilities.) So i took the rest of my X'os to my friend Cammie's house and she, her man and her man's best friend (who is FINE as hell) and I all rolled for a night and got Fucked up and had a Fantastic roll. And the guy - Clark - has a fantastically thick dick and I must admit for a while I was most definitely dicknotized. He ended up coming home with me the next week - and then i got the bomb dropped on me that Dick decided to marry Tatum - WITHIN THE WEEK. And then he did. I was shocked and so fucking brokenhearted I can't even get into it. And Clark ended up being TOO much of a bad boy for me to handle, he had to go - and he owes me money, part of the dicknotizing no doubt.
the night Dick got married to his bitch - the Friday after they decided to get married - I went out with my dear gay friend whom I'll call "Lothario". Loth is sexy as hell of course, he's the shit, every girl want s to be near him for his sense of humor and i felt so very privileged to be out with him! However, the evening at 11pm seemed sort of a bust and I got a call from Cammie saying for me to come out to her place to have a threesome with her and her man. Now i'm not stupid, I know those sorts of things always end badly when you bring someone into a relationship - nevermind the fact that I'm me, with all my various tricks. But hell, i was half tipsy and figured I might at least get to kiss on her a bit and i can get off from that shit so why the hell not? I head out to her house out in the boondocks.
When I arrive, there's about 15-20 people hanging around outside, some music playing, a lil party goin on - and Cammie and her man Marcus having a screaming fit with Cam crying and throwing shit in the house. I quickly take my tipsy ass around to the side of the house to where two girls were talking up three fine guys. they're standing under the lights for the volleyball court smokin cigs when i walk up. I've met two of the guys before, the hug me and introduce me to Tara and Codi, the really fine girls. we bullshit for like a minute while Tara finishes her cig, then she nods at me and says, "you're Cammie's friend from ****, right?" and I say yeah. She nods, then asks if I wanna go smoke. "Sure!" I say, and she puts her hand on my arm and steers me away from the guys, Codi following, and talks me into going to her house around the block to smoke. She promises its cool, of course i've got my lean on, so i figure - it's girls, what can they do? and we get in her hot lil red car and go to her house. we get there, in her bedroom, she rolls a blunt and we all sit on her bed and smoke and bullshit about men, Cammie, them fighting, kids, etc. and Tara flat out asks, " do you like girls?" and of course I say "hell yeah!" she asks, " you like me?" and I respond, "Girl, you fine as hell! " - cause she IS, just, uuummmm, the perfect shape and kind of woman I like, big brown eyes, that Latino curly long black hair to her ass, thick hips but waist cut in a little, plump just where she should be and cocoa skin all over and she was PROUD of it, too- she had a belly button ring, some tatts and lips like Angelina Jolie. Codi was a blonde skinny bitch who didn't talk much but definitely fuckable, nice perky tits and young pearly skin. Tara nods, puts out the blunt, scoots the rollin tray off the bed, and says in that high- choked up voice, "Girl you a fine mother fucka too. c'mere . . ." and proceeded to kiss me til I came all over that poor girls bed and moaned in ecstasy. She was that hot. She backed off, her lips swollen and her eyes glazed and a little surprised, but then she broke out in a huge grin, and said, "Girl, we gonna have some FUN tonight! " and proceeded to advance on me til I was prone on the bed underneath her and . . .
Clothes went flying. Tara is one HOT bitch. She knew Exactly what she was doing . . . talked dirty to me, sucked and licked everything repeatedly till I was damn near exhausted - with Codi laid up beside me playing with me the whole time, topless. after about eighty or some times of me impressing them with my tricks, she undressed - Oh God, the most gorgeous tits - and laid back and let me remove the rest of her clothes. I remember her smiling sexily and telling me I was in for a treat - and boy was I. I put my face between her legs, her own hips bucked up and she cried out and we both came from the hotness. I confusedly looked at her face and as she came back from her orgasm, she smiled drowsily and said, " I'm not as wet as you, but with girls I go fuck wild like you. Keep it up, girl, my turn to get tired . . ."
Well, I am nothing if not a gracious guest. It was the single most hottest experience of my life, to make that gorgeous woman cum and cum and cum again and again. she slowed down after about thirty and grabbed Codi and threw her down on the bed. we both played with her a while, then Tara whispered for me to get where she could sit on my face while she got Codi off; I obliged gratefully . . . .
And the best part of the evening? after we were all replete with ourselves and laying around in her king size bed half under covers, them smokin cigs and me just lazing with a fantastic grin on, I realized;
there was no pressure. None of the wondering: "was I too freaky, does he think i'm a ho? will he call tomorrow? will this turn into something more? does he like me?"
I didn't give a shit! these girls fully sexually satisfied me and then some, and there was no bullshit emotion to wade through afterward - it was all fun girl talk and laughter - and titties out and legs to caress and soft lips to just reach out and tongue fuck for no reason other than it still felt good.
Oh I so understand lesbians - provided i could find a girl enough like me that would excite me as much as she did . . . I'd never have a man again . . . .
But unfortunately i got the vibe that Codi was with Tara and this was something they only did occasionally . . . oh god, though, Tara was hot as all blue fuck, and those hot guys around her all wanted to fuck her and it is so funny in retrospect how she just saw me and waltzed off with me in hand to go play with unbeknownst to them . . . .
I finally got back to Cammie's and Marcus's and they were still fighting in the bedroom, so i crashed on the couch. The next morning I got awoken by Marcus, who offered me coffee but then tried to fuck me on the kitchen counter, which in my hungover state Almost happened, but at the last moment I pushed him away with the admonishment that she'd catch us and I needed to Go. that's the last time I've seen Cammie/Marcus in two- three weeks.

Next time: my foursome that involved only ME as the female; and after that, my crowning achievement as an adulteress with Dick.
Oh yeah - he told me he got married to help him stay faithful to his lil bitch. Who, by the way, has quit college AND her job, gained ten pounds in two weeks and looks like something someone threw up. Which leaves his broke ass as the sole provider. Any bets as to how long he'll stay faithful? ~A